Expressing Emotions

Sophia Syed on Valentine Day. Important in a relationship are the day-to-day unromantic realities and practicalities of life What does this day stand for? The historical versions of its origin and growth offer no solace to those interested in “true and genuine” accounts. From the early Greek account of St. Valentine being beheaded for secretly performing the marriage of young couples against the wish of the King to the 14th century exchange of gifts between lovers, to Hallmark`s changing it into a commercial market by the introduction of special valentine cards and gifts, the day has traversed a long, found its embracers and its enemies too throughout the world. In many countries it is celebrated as an iconic occasion celebrating true love and affection. Lovers exchange gifts, cards, celebrate their relations and commit themselves, albeit briefly to each other. It has its enemies too: the Muslims regard it as unIslamic, some Hindu treat it as intrusion of western culture. Whatever its history, the fact remains that its supports are growing in numbers with each passing year and this signals a break, a rupture in the ideological setup of our new generation who are part to the commercialization of such pristine feelings as love and true relations.How does Valentine`s Day help a relation grow strong? It’s a day, as most of us assume, where one is supposed to express love. Apparently, it’s a day where you decide to ‘care’ for your loved one more than any other day in the year. But don’t you think that, like much else we have materialized and commercialized this entire event? Florists, restaurateurs and jewelry makers have throbbing hearts waiting a year for this huge business opportunity. Romantic gifts at huge prices are popping up in big cities - commercialism is in the air, overshadowing the love; it's really pathetic. If you have to buy things to demonstrate your love, then that love does not run very deep. We have grown with the belief that love has a natural flow that cannot speed up by bringing in material goods. So, who do I call to complain that taking on the nonsense of Valentine's Day runs counter to deep culture and traditions that we have imbibed? Making a grand gesture just once a while doesn`t in any way prove your love and commitment in a relation. When it comes to truth, commitment and sincere love it is the mundane, prosaic every day conversation through out the year, and rolling on through life that really matter the most in a relationship. Boxed love and merchandise does not make a difference and does not add value to your sincerity. It hardly matters whether you celebrate valentine`s day or not, participation in such festivals is not a predicator of relationship longevity or satisfaction. What is really important is to find out on a daily basis what your partner is doing for the day or communicating about what people consider everyday topics than buying a special chocolate, a cake or a piece of diamond. For most people “Love is a very fluid thing,” says Les Parrot. “It changes, there’s an ebb and flow to it, and over time, it will be something different than it used to be. It takes work and commitment to carry you through when the passion isn’t there.” And the passion will not always be there to keep relations going, the lasting relations are those who work through years and don`t give up, these are the relations that come out on the other side more fulfilled and happier. The value of a truly good relationship is priceless, and when it comes to you, embrace it, cherish it, savor it and try to maintain it by all possible means through all possible situations. It doesn`t matter whether or not you exchange costly gifts, have a moon-lit dinner in a five star restaurant. What matter in the end in a relationship are the day-to-day unromantic realities and practicalities of life, often filled with what Wordsworth calls “the fever and fret of life”, and our consistent effort through all odds to be genuinely committed never forgetting, even when contradictions and differences arise “On how to cross a desert patch”, to say genuinely and sincerely to our dearest ones: TAKE CARE.